Service was over, but I didn’t want to leave. I knew that God was still moving, so while majority of the flock swarmed out the church doors, I remained in my seat motionlessly. With my eyes closed, I opened my hands, and began to wait in eager expectation. In the midst of the silence, I heard The Holy Spirit say "You feel the way you do because you're always looking". I was taken aback. In an instant, I knew exactly what he was referring to, but this was far from what I was expecting. This is was about my love life.
It doesn't feel super awesome to say this, but I've spent much of my Christian life wondering where my husband was. Whenever I went to an event where Christian men were present, I would always find myself asking questions like "Is that the one?" and "Could it be him?" I mean, it was pretty crazy. As I look back on those moments, I can't help but cringe at how much of a hot mess I was. But you know what? He was right. I spent way too much of my time consumed by "Man of God" this, and "Future husband" that, and I wasn't content in my singleness.
It was around that time that I realized I knew very few women who were content in this area. It was also around that time that I began to look to those who were and Jesus to help me find more peace in this area of my life. Now, I can confidently say that I could be single for the rest of my life and not feel like I'm missing out on anything. I am single, and it is well with my soul. But, I did not "wake up like this"! There was definitely a process I had to go through before I got here, and I feel like it's about time that I share it with you. So for the next couple weeks I will be doing a mini-series on the lessons I learned in process, and you can subscribe to be notified of my next post.