SINGLE AND MESSED UP
Just a couple months after a relationship I thought would surely end in marriage ended, I thought I was doing pretty well. I wasn't talking about relationships as much as I used to, and the whole marriage thing just wasn't on my mind. Everything seemed pretty good until the idea of dating again crossed my mind.That's when I realized I wasn't doing too hot.
Further introspection helped me to see that the only reason why I wasn't as obsessive about relationships as I was before was because I wasn't completely healed from my last relationship. Turns out I was just avoiding all things related to relationships because I was scared, no, terrified of the idea of dating someone else. This, my friend, had absolutely nothing to do with genuine contentment and everything to do with the fact that I was a little messed up.
Around that time, I started to observe one of my friends who seemed alot less broken and alot more content in her singleness than me. She was quite inspiring. Unlike myself, she never spoke about relationships, marriage, or being romantically interested in anyone since we'd first met. However, upon further investigation I realized that this was not a result of contentment. Turns out, the only reason why she never talked about anything like that was because she avoided this aspect of her life. The poor examples of relationships she saw as she was growing up caused her to be quite detached from the idea of them all together, and so she was just a little messed up too.
But I guess life and the whole relationship game has a way of leaving us all a little messed up. I mean, I constantly come across people who are over relationships, over the entire opposite sex, and straight up bitter because of their negative past experiences. All this has lead me to believe that there is a difference between being single and content and avoiding relationships as well as all things related to them because your heart is messed up.
While the latter and colder approach to relationships may give you a false sense of contentment and comfort, it certainly isn't God's ideal. If you need to work on this area of your life do so by bringing it to him.Whether it was brought about by your past failed relationships, your upbringing, or hurt you've experienced from the opposite sex, one thing is for certain; there is healing in Jesus. Let him heal you, and don't rush the process.
The LORD is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those whose spirits are crushed.(Psalm 34:18)